On the Road Again

I got home a few hours ago and I can already tell it's going to be a long week. My grandmother and I are doing fine, but I feel so sorry for Auntie Jean. She can't remember from one minute to the next what she says to me. She's asked me probably 50 times the same few questions already. But I have to remember to not take it personally because it's not her, it's her disease. I'll be here until Thursday morning at which time I leave for Troy, Michigan.

I'm doing my best to eat well. I had a turkey sandwich at the airport instead of the sausage, egg and cheese that I really wanted to eat. When I arrived in Cleveland my family had Popeye's fried chicken, so I had Panera half soup and half sandwich. I ate a chipotle chicken 1/2 sandwich (my splurge) and 1/2 cup of vegetable soup. After realizing that I couldn't continue to eat this way I went to the grocery store with my grandmother and we bought some of my snacking staples plus a salad, which I can make chicken with and have a meal.

One person always has to be at the house, so we can't all go out together. I hope we do get to go to our traditional Hunan on Coventry for dinner. A few weeks ago Ma said we could go, but I don't think she feels the same way now so we might have to get take-out instead, which is OK.

I can't wait to give my grandmother her sweater. I think she'll really like it. My brother doesn't like anything, so we'll see if he likes his gift...

Oil and Water

I made an amazing salad last night, thanks to Samantha's fabulous recipes! Here are the ingredients:

black eyed peas (rinsed thoroughly)
frozen corn (thawed and drained)
unpeeled cucumbers
red bell pepper
green onions
oregano
olive oil
lemon juice

I tasted it before I put it in the refrigerator last night and it was delicious. The best part is that the salad will last seven days in the refrigerator and it gets better as the flavors blend together each day. I'm doing my best to eat the salad and the other items that I've bought before I leave on Friday; I hate to waste any food. The breads are easy because I can freeze those and I can freeze the carrots and celery because I'm going to cook with them, not eat them raw, but the leftover turkey meatballs and a few other items need to be eaten ASAP.


Last night I also made a delicious chicken pita that I made up all on my own with the ingredients I had in my refrigerator. I used:


whole wheat pita
sauteed chicken
hummus
lettuce
tomato
green onion


It was quite good and very filling. I will definitely make that quick and easy dish again.

Colin left for Michigan yesterday. I already miss him, but I'm only here another two days and some change before I leave for Cleveland. Since I'm getting in on Christmas Eve I should probably pick up some wrapping paper because I don't think they will have any at home, or my brother might, I'm not sure. I hope my grandmother likes her sweater and my brother his gift.

Bad news ladies and gents: I feel a tickle in my throat as of this morning. I took an ecinacea, an herbal supplement my doctor gave me, and I'm hoping that will ward off any cold or flu symptoms because I'd still like to go to the gym tomorrow and maybe Friday morning before I leave for the airport.


Good news: my flight home was only $100 and AirTran has free wifi on the flight! How awesome is that? Pretty darn cool I think.


Song of the day: Morningside- Sara Bareilles

People Everyday

This weekend was a preview of how hard it's going to be when i go home to eat well. Friday night I went out with my friend and her two other friends. We had a blast. The whole while I was thinking about how many calories are in the drinks that I have. I've cut out tonic water and diet soda (for the most part) but I still enjoy a drink which is full of sugar and carbs. I talked with my analyst about drinking and I decided that I will not, unless medically necessary, be giving up alcohol. I think it's ok to enjoy a drink, I just need to make sure that I don't go overboard every time. Saturday night we went to get thai food and because I was shopping for hours I missed lunch and over-indulged at thai. I need to make sure to eat small meals every few hours otherwise I am going to fall right back into my bad behavior. After dinner we went to see TRON. I figured I would really dislike it because it seemed like such a boy movie! BUT I ended up LOVING IT. And young Jeff Bridges is really hot, so that was doubly exciting :-) I got back on track Sunday with my food, but missed the gym (I went both Friday and Saturday).
Meals

Breakfast
Turkey bacon, eggs, whole wheat toast with almond butter

Lunch
Grilled chicken, oven roasted sweet potato fries

Dinner
whole wheat pasta, turkey meatballs (homemade baby!) with marinara sauce and asparagus

I didn't snack yesterday because I did so little activity I didn't feel the need to add additional calories. I also felt because of the meals that I was eating, they probably averaged out to 500 calories each, negating the need for my snacks as well. I must say that dinner was the most delicious, although the sweet potato fries gave dinner a run for its money. I made the turkey meatballs out of a turkey meatloaf recipe from Samantha, my dietitian. If you want the recipe let me know and I'll email it to you. It's fairly simple, but with cook-time it takes about 90 minutes. The best part about last nights dinner is that I made enough for lunch and one dinner for the entire week. One thing Samantha and I talked about was the fact that if I try to cook dinner every night then I'm going to get burned out, so I should only aim to cook 3 times/week and eat leftovers the other four nights/week.

Now I sit on the Amtrak Acela Express train on my way to DC for a staff holiday lunch. I had to ask Samantha what I can eat because we're going to get Indian food. It's not necessarily bad for you but there are certain things I need to stay away from like basmati rice and naan; both things that I love, but can no longer eat.

I am excited and yet looking to avoid going home to Shaker Heights. I bought my grandmother a lovely sweater for the holiday and my brother a gift certificate to Macy's. Some might wonder why I bought my brother and impersonal gift card? If you knew him you would know that it's the best thing. He's a difficult person to shop for and instead of getting him something he'll never use I thought he could always use a gift card, especially to Macy's that has everything. My grandma is always cold so I thought a lovely sweater would be a nice way to go for her. My grandma told me not to get my aunt Jean anything so I didn't. I'm going to double check on that just to make sure. She said that she wouldn't remember, so I thought it was probably for the best I suppose, who knows. Friday night we are going to a holiday party at my grandma's friends house. We went last year and had a nice time, so I am looking forward to that. I will see my friend and his wife also, maybe Sunday evening, so that will be fun as well. Other than that I will be attempting to work on my ARP to turn in 1-2 books before I return from the holiday. Finally I am looking forward to going to the Fillmore in Detroit for New Years Eve with all my besties from college. I'm still not exactly sure who all is going, but it should be a good group and I'm just excited to do it big with them one more time! Pictures to follow of the even after January 2nd; when I return from Michigan. I'll be posting every few days when I'm at home to let you know how things are going, food wise and people wise ;-)

OMG

I said in a previous blog that I would not be stepping on a scale for quite some time. It turns out my dietitan, Samantha had other plans. She would like to weigh me every time I come to see her. I figured I hadn't lost any weight, not in six days at least. I stepped on the scale and held my breath for it to say the exact same number, or somehow higher than it said last time. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that in six days I lost 3 lbs!!! I know it's not a lot, but I can't remember the last time I lost any weight, let alone in such a short period of time. My/Samantha's plan is working! I honestly had my doubts. I mean yes, I'm eating less (a lot less) and yes I went to the gym twice this week (will be going again this evening), but to be honest you can't see the loss of 3 lbs. But I can tell you it means something to me :-) It means motivation to continue along this journey. It means persevering when things really get tough. It means a starting anew. It means everything. Ok enough of the corny stuff!

Weekend plans: I will be going out dancing with my friend and her friend this evening. I always have fun dancing with her so I know it will be a good time. Saturday I will be shopping for my NYE outfit and then in the evening Colin and I will be going to see TRON. I'm not really that interested in the movie, but Colin is uber excited, which makes me excited for him. I also intend to work on my ARP on Sunday. I say that every Sunday and it never happens, but I'm going to make it happen this Sunday. Home to Cleveland in 7 days!

Only Girl in the World

I went to the gym yesterday and the day before and I can tell you after a month of not going to the gym, it is very hard to stay motivated. It's also a mile from my house, and it's freezing outside, so that's not helping either. But I am really motivated to lose this weight (have I mentioned how much? I'm actually trying to lose a whopping 60 lbs! But I will not look at the scale until I believe I've made some significant progress) so I will keep going to the gym. This week I plan to go 3-4 days, even though my nutritionist and I agreed on 1-2 days. I've already fulfilled that and don't see a reason not to do more. I do one hour of cardio each time I go, that's the way to lose weight right? I will add weights into my routine soon, but not yet. It's hard enough to get me to one hour of cardio, and I don't want to turn myself off to the gym by doing too much too quickly. I also had my first experience last night of going to the gym and then eating no carbs after- that was harder than the hour I did at the gym! I forgot to take a picture, but last night I made grilled flank steak (thank you George Foreman) and sauteed vegetables (including spinach, snow peas, peppers, portabella mushrooms and broccoli). It was delicious, but without a carb I felt like I was still hungry after I was finished. I powered through and distracted myself by cleaning the house. In the end I was glad to have made it through the evening carb-free and conscious of the efforts.

Colin actually ate with me yesterday evening. He is very proud of my efforts and has said so on a daily basis, which makes this process just a little bit easier. He ate with me I think to show his support of my efforts. He picked the right meal because it's definitely the healthiest and the tastiest one I've made so far. When I asked if he'd be partaking in the grilled chicken salad I intend to make this evening, he respectfully declined.

It dawned on me in the elevator this morning that it's really important to be conscious of what we put in our bodies. It didn't so much dawn on me as slap me in the face- a woman had a bag of McDonald's breakfast that literally smelled disgusting. I'm not hating on her, maybe that's all she had time for this morning, but it made me think, if something smells that bad when it's "freshly cooked" then it cannot be good to ingest it. I won't lie, I used to love McDonald's breakfast, but I will not be eating there anytime in the near future. I'm beginning, just beginning, to enjoy some of the foods I'm eating now. I always enjoy my oatmeal for breakfast. My dietitian suggested that instead of buying the pre-flavored oatmeals that I add my own organic flavors. Now I add cinnamon, honey and dried cranberries. Now that is a delicious breakfast when I eat a handful of almonds afterwards. To ward off binging at lunch I've been having a small snack of sliced apples or edamame or more almonds about an hour before I eat lunch. I don't want to prematurely say anything, but I physically feel better each day.

I also realize that I am doing this for more reasons than just diabetes. I do not like the way I look right now. I do not like not being able to fit into certain clothes. I do not like being overweight and right now that is how I feel. It doesn't matter what people tell me or say, I feel how I feel. But now I realize this is for more than just diabetes, it's for me to look better. Shallow? maybe. Vain? sure. But this about me and my feelings and I'm taking back control.

Song of the Day: Vietnam- Daft Punk

What Works in the Classroom? Ask the Students

Check out this article. An interesting look at who should be doing the "judging" of teachers and it's not who you might think or is it?

Manic Monday

Eating well is definitely HARD- I cannot stress this enough. And my palate is doing an adjustment to all the new organic, low carb, natural flavors. Last night I made a pasta dish including:
ww pasta
chicken sausage
portabella mushrooms
yellow pepper
snow peas
tomato
spinach
I like everything except the chicken sausage. I'm not sure if it's the expectation of pork when I have sausage or the lack of fat and grease; probably a combination of both. I ate it and I also ate it for lunch today. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will have to figure out how to enjoy my food all over again because these new tastes are foreign to me in such large quantities. I'll start taking pictures so that I can post the meals that I am making.

I joked with a girlfriend that I like my snacks more than I like my meals right now! I snack three times/day on anything from yogurt, almonds, tuna, apple slices, tangerines, carrots, hummus, etc. That's just this week- my dietitian gave me a crazy list of snacks.

Today it's back to the gym for the first time in over a month! Since I'm consuming less calories, I won't have to kill myself working out, which will be nice. I need to learn to enjoy my workouts again. I used to love working out in college. I also had a partner in crime to go with- shout out you know who you are! Colin likes to go, but our weekday schedules are so different. He gets home much later and by the time he gets to the gym I'm done or close to done with my workout. I know there are websites to find workout buddies, perhaps I'll try that.

I watched Catfish last night. A mockumentary? about a woman who makes up all these personas and meets this young man from NYC on the Internet and converses with him as an 8 yr old and a 19 yr old even though she's 40-something. I was really saddened by this because this woman had so little going on in her life in Northern Michigan that she had to make up this existence. It made me really sad to think about that people are so unhappy they make up an alternate universe to cope with life. That was how I saw that movie.

Meanwhile I go home to Cleveland next Friday. If you know me, you know I make this journey only once/year. One because that's all I can afford right now and two because for some many reasons it's just difficult for me to spend any mass amount of time at home. For one my grandmother doesn't know that much about my life and I'd like to keep it that way. She's fragile and I don't want to burden her with my craziness. It will be good to see her; I'll be home until the 30th and then leave for Michigan and be there until the 2nd. I'm not sure what I'll be doing in Cleveland. My one friend that I still converse with will not be home for the holidays so I am at a loss for who to hang out with and what to do. No matter, I'll only be there a few days, so I'll try to hang out with my brother. We've never been close, but in our adult life I'm making a small effort to change that. Cleveland is also hard because my Great Aunt Jean now lives there and she has severe dementia. It's sad and I live through this once already with my nana when I was growing up until my freshman year of high school. This is also part of why it's hard to go home - I feel so sad for them to live in a situation beyond their control. Is adult life really supposed to be that hard? I have to imagine not. ..I'll let that marinate for a while. Any feedback is welcome.

Song of the day: All I Do is Win, DJ Khaled

Eating Well and the Weekend

I have been eating (mostly) properly for 2.5 days now. For anyone out there thinking of trying to change their eating ways, it is not easy. I'm better when I'm at home, but when i go out, I feel like an addict. Friday night we went to get sushi and I did really well (thanks to my dietitian, who I emailed like a nut in the middle of the day to find out what is OK to eat.) Apparently most things on a sushi menu are OK as long as you stay away from the rolls filled with cream cheese. My one "slip up" on the weekend was chicken tenders and fries at the Wings game last night. I should have ordered the grilled chicken sandwich, but I did not. I felt this pull towards the bad food. But I'll be honest, it didn't even taste that good! The fries were way to greasy and the tenders were overcooked, so I ended up eating most of the tenders and only say a handful of fries. If I wasn't in the mind set of trying to eat better, I would have eaten all that gross food anyways. Disgusting I know, but something in my head likes it - but I'm working to change that. Now I just need to work on getting myself to the gym. My dietitian and I decided that for week one I would go 1-2 times. That is completely reasonable and I intend to fulfill my obligation to myself.



Other than obsessing over what I'm putting in my mouth, I had a good weekend. Friday night we had dinner with Colin's friend and Saturday night we went to the Wings v. New Jersey Devils game in Newark. Wings won 4-1. I was actually into the game, but mostly because Colin loves the game so much.



Today I need to work on my ARP. It's the only thing standing in the way of getting my diploma. I intend to finish it by May, but I really need to get a move-on if I intend to make that date. Anyone ever had something that really did not want to do? How did you get yourself to do it anyway? I can't get out of this slump.

Dietics 101

So yesterday I had my evening appointment with my dietitian, Samantha. She's great! We took an hour going over my trials and tribulations when it comes to eating. Bottom line: I eat too many calories (especially empty calories) and don't exercise enough. With the amount of calories I'm consuming now, I'd have to work out 5 hours a day to burn it off and clearly that's insane. The logic step is to eat significantly less calories. We talked about how I can eat the foods I like, but with a healthy twist. For example, instead of a bacon,egg, and cheese on a roll, this morning I had one egg, tomato and provolone cheese on whole wheat toast. It was very good. I can also still enjoy coffee, but instead of two splendas and two half and half's, I'll have one splenda and 1% milk; still tastes like great coffee to me!

Also she pointed out that it's good that I snack (I've always snacked on fruits), but I should snack more and eat smaller meals. I should never go into a meal starving and ravenous (her words not mine). For example instead of just eating a tangerine at lunch, i should have nuts with it.

I also learned that I should only eat 1400-1500 calories/day with exercise 3-4 times/week. This was very good for me to hear because yesterday I ate at Applebee's (one of the only places to eat in our area) and the calories with my lunch were 1450. If you're doing the math, that's how many calories I should have in one day and I ate them all at one meal! That will not be happening again. But she told me that I can still eat out occasionally, even at places like Applebee's, but off of their weight watchers menu. Not because it's weight watchers necessarily, but because it's the only part of the menu that is calorie conscious. Other restaurants do that and I just have to make sure that I'm actively looking at that when I go out to restaurants. And speaking of going out - I should be doing that a lot less. So I'm making it my mission to bring my lunch more and cook dinner at least 3 times/week. This will be gradual. We talked about the fact that this is hard work. I've been eating the same way for so long and I'm about to do an overhaul of my diet! Not go on a diet, but completely change it, which is much harder; a diet will end, but this will be forever.

The worst part of the whole thing was to learn that Chinese food (and if you know me it's my favorite) is basically the worst takeout food for you. I'll get over it, it's just going to take some time.

I will meet with Samantha again next Thursday after keeping a food journal for a week. We also talked about cleansing. I am going to do participate in cleansing, but not quite yet. She's afraid that with the way I've been eating, it would be such a shock to my system it would not be productive, so i"m going to wait until after the first of the year. We'll start slowly wit a vegetable cleanse and then move up to the more intense cleanses every few months.

Needless to say, writing this blog, I am excited about this food journey I'm delving into for the first time. Stay tuned for my midnight hunger craves! Hopefully not....

New York Teachers Still in Idle Limbo

N.Y. / Region
New York Teachers Still in Idle Limbo
By SHARON OTTERMAN
Published: December 7, 2010
Teachers no longer languish while the school system tries to fire them, but the new system is not ideal.

Tell me what you think about this article. I found it interesting that they have supposedly done away with the rubber rooms, but teachers are still doing this menial tasks. What was I expecting?

What's the name before pen-ultima?

I've taken a lot of time to set up this blog, and now I'm at a loss for what to write. I'll start with how I decided to write this. Years ago two friends (everyone will be anonymous on this blog) started a blog about their married life together. Then the updated it to include their baby. Now I have to other friends that are adventuring (is that a word?) through Africa and have this amazing blog! Here I sit, going into my fourth year living in Brooklyn, NY, still working on my master's, at another (yes another) dead end job. I'm not bitter, nor am I jealous (trust me I couldn't be happier for the people in my life). But I have the sincere feeling that I'm not moving ahead. I'm behind or at least I feel like I'm behind. I think we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves to succeed, and I am certainly guilty of this as well. My master's was a two year program, but for reasons that are inexplicable, I've turned it into a three year program. I've actually made my peace with this because I still have to pass one certification exam that has become the bane of my existence. I have a feeling the third time will be the charm! Or at least I hope so for my sanity...

A few months ago I took a job because frankly we were running out of money, which isn't difficult to do in New York City. The job is fine, but it doesn't challenge me at all. Teaching will definitely challenge me, but it seems to elude me on a daily basis. By next fall I plan to be in a classroom come hell or high water. I'm certainly going to take this exam seriously this time, although I was pretty sure I was taking it seriously the other two times.

On a good note, I will begin seeing a dietitian tomorrow. My PCP informed me that my glucose levels were a little on the high side and to combat that and the eventual on-set of diabetes, I've decided to take control. I've always eaten poorly. When I was growing up as a child my grandmother stressed having a vegetable, but it was still an aside to the hearty portion of meat and potatoes that I could eat. Now I'm finding in my mid-20s that it is impossible and dangerous to keep eating this way. I know that I cannot do this on my own. When one has been eating a certain way for 20+ years, it's not all that simple to just "learn to eat healthy", especially on your own, so I've enlisted help. My nutritionist is Samantha Rigoli. She has a very extensive website if you're in New York City and interested in dietics. I'll certainly let you know how it goes after tomorrow. I'd like to start with a cleanse of some kind. Colin is convinced they don't work, but honestly I don't care what he has to say on this subject. We have exactly the opposite eating issues, so his point is heard and deflected. I'm excited to learn how to eat, shop and cook appropriately. Personally I think I was pretty smokin' in college, and I've let that fall to the wayside and it's embarrassing and annoying, so I'm taking control to get it back.

I've lived in NYC for four years and I find this city is it's own mistress. I definitely couldn't live here the rest of my life, but I would like to stay until I'm 28 or 29. And considering I will be 27 in a few shorts months, I don't think that's asking that much. I keep thinking about living in other cities. I'd love to live in Chicago and/or San Francisco. My best friend lives in San Francisco and LOVES IT. I still haven't been there, but long to go. I'm hoping that if Colin and I get a vacation next year (keep your fingers crossed) we'll get to stay in San Francisco with my friend.

I realize that I need to start taking more pictures. Colin does not like his photo taken so we don't have that many pictures together, which saddens me. So I'm making it a goal: take more pictures. And get new boots, I need boots ;-)

Leave me some love, I'd like to hear from you.

Ciao Bellas!